“I should do this.” or “I should have done that.” Have you ever shoulded on yourself? These are the dreaded SHOULDS. The SHOULDS are often based upon unrealistic expectations and the perceived or explicitly communicated expectations of others. Although they may have a rightful place in our lives, this place is usually locked away in a closet with its guilty-by-association partner, GUILT.
I’ve done it—shoulded myself into guilt: I should have spent more time doing (helping, giving, doing more for others). SHOULD and GUILT hang out together, lying in wait in our consciousness, pouncing on us quickly with an invisible whacking stick (yes, whacking, not walking). We beat ourselves up with it.
So, next time you think about what you should have done, stop, listen, and be gentle with yourself (You really should stop feeling guilty). Instead, tell yourself you’ll do things differently in the future (and you will). Now put that stick away (give it to your dog or local sheep herder) and go out and do what you should be doing!
Image courtesy of Katerina Grabowski on Pexels.