Sometimes we feel so frustrated with someone that we stop talking to them. You or they shut down. You ignore them, and they ignore you. The saying, “Ignoring someone is the best torment,” comes to mind. But we also torment ourselves when we ignore another person. Typically, relationships break down due to a lack of communication or clear communication. Cutting social ties with someone without a conversation about what’s bugging us leaves unfinished business. We all need closure, and we may only achieve it when we sit down, lay our cards on the table, and share honestly about what’s bothering us. Face it, relationships are never easy. They take work. It’s constant negotiation and give-and-take.
Consider these tips to navigate the challenges of a relationship:
- Communicate, which also means listening, really listening to the other person’s point of view.
- Be empathetic by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.
- State your truth based on clear personal boundaries (and if you don’t have any, work on these).
- Don’t harbour resentments–over time, they fester and poison the relationship.
- Do YOU–your life is your main job and focus. When you’re looking at someone else and pointing the finger, you’re not looking at what you must be doing.
- Try not to take things personally. Remember that what someone says or does isn’t a reflection of you; instead, it is a reflection of themselves, and that specifically includes their criticizing you.
- Your worth is not defined by another person or their thoughts and actions.
- Play nice, be kind, and give what you would like to receive.
- Be grateful and express gratitude.
Consider stepping back If you find yourself in a toxic, dysfunctional relationship where you feel depleted because you’re doing all the work, compromising, and caring. Lovingly detach if you can. If you decide to leave, trust that this is exactly what you must do to take care of yourself.
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