I love cats. And I love their independence. We look them straight in the eye when calling their name and they simply sit there, staring at us: You calling me? Eventually, they come–for a caress, food, or just because (finally, they feel like it). Then they leave as silently and stealthily as they came. We feel richer for those few moments of attention. That something so independent can still need or want us is an exercise in loving detachment as it epitomizes interdependence.
Healthy interdependence is a relationship dynamic where
- We rely on each other for our mutual benefit while being independent and autonomous.
- We support each other and contribute to the relationship without sacrificing our needs or identity, in a balanced give-and-take.
- We communicate our needs and boundaries effectively while respecting and supporting each other’s, leading to mutual trust, respect, security, and stability.
- We are vulnerable as we share our feelings without fear of judgment or rejection.
- We cooperate, coordinate, and share resources to achieve our common goals.
Why do we have so many challenges being interdependent with humans? When someone doesn’t pay attention to us, we may worry and wonder: Have I done something wrong? (Usually, we haven’t).
Overall, healthy interdependence is crucial for building strong, fulfilling relationships with lovers, family, and friends because it fosters a sense of connection, support, and mutual growth.
Ah yes, the lessons we can learn from interactions with our cats. What have you learned from your cat?
Image courtesy of Tatyana Eremina of Unsplash