How humbling it felt to me when during a Zoom training call with a beautiful vibrant black colleague, the discussion took a turn into Black Lives Matter as our world grapples with the systemic racism exemplified by George Floyd’s murder. I had no words. And besides, it wasn’t my place to say anything, except for “I cannot even imagine; I can only hear what you have to say.” And this was after she’d said to me: “Are we even supposed to be talking about this here right now [in this context]? In my head, I’m thinking: Hell, yes! We must talk about this everywhere! And my job—my only job in that moment, was to hold the space and listen.” I told her “Yes, we need to talk about this—it’s completely the right time and place.” And I held the space for my colleague to share.
Here’s what holding the space looked like to me:
And more…
Keeping it safe for my colleague to share without judging.
If black lives matter, we wouldn’t need to say it. And George Floyd would be alive.
Listening.
Hearing the fear, struggle, confusion, anger, and sadness.
I had tears, felt honored.
I came away enlightened, grateful.
And hopeful, too.
Thank you for sharing with me and for trusting me with the rawness of your thoughts and emotions. In my white privilege, I am humbled.
To all my readers: If you do nothing, please, please hold the space when someone marginalized expresses their frustration and pain. It’s time to hear the pain. It’s time to show empathy. It’s time to listen.