What makes change so scary? More than the change itself, perhaps it’s the fear of actually being successful because when you change something, you risk making it better and if you make it better, you have a responsibility to uphold. That responsibility might seem scary. Imagine being responsible for something you actually want!
Take leaving a relationship or a job–something known–and jumping into the unknown. Why is that prospect so fear-inducing? You’re not happy. You complain that things aren’t right, yet you stay. You are comfortable in your discomfort. There is a weighing of what is known and uncomfortable against what is unknown and seemingly uncomfortable. The gap is your own comfort or discomfort.
This is what makes the path of least resistance so enticing. I don’t believe it’s laziness or even complacency. True that we are creatures of habit. So what makes habits so compelling? Is it that we put ourselves on autopilot? Or do these habits relate to the deeper, more entrenched patterns, often subconscious? It’s said that it takes 21 days to break or form a habit.
To really change a habit you must first be aware that the discomfort is your driver. Like hitting bottom. Something’s got to give–and it has! You’ve tolerated THAT THING long enough! You’re uncomfortable enough in your discomfort that now it’s time to make a change. You’re actually ready! That gets into the gap and makes you weigh your comfort against your discomfort. That is what gets you into action. Something has pushed you to your limit and you are now ready to take on changing SOMETHING, ANYTHING. And while you look at changing, there’s still part of you that wants to run back. Until the point of no return, the taste of what could be. It tastes good, so good that you actually see the possibility. Ah, change…scary yet compelling.
What is the one change you’d make if you weren’t afraid?
Kelly can help you dig deep and uncover those fears holding you back from truly living. Call 514.996.2414 to learn more about empowerment coaching.