Have you ever harped on something or nagged another person? Likely, you got little or no results. Often, it goes like this:
- “I think you should do such and such…”
- “If I were you, I would…”
- “Why don’t you do…XYZ?”
And if that isn’t enough to sound the warning bells and shut you down from listening to more, the person repeats—either right away or later in the same conversation. You may be feeling annoyed because you heard them the first time. Perhaps you responded: ”Hmmm, that’s interesting. I will consider it.” Or, “This is not how I want to do that.” Or, “Thank you for your ideas, but I’m good.” Most likely you said nothing, and by the time the second and third barrage came, you had tuned out.
Nagging or pushing to get our point across can be oppressive. No one wants to feel coerced or controlled. Besides, it presumes that the other person is incapable and hasn’t thought this through for themselves. So instead, a question might be: “Have you thought about doing XYZ?”. Then leave it alone.
I’ve experienced this on two occasions recently, and I left both exchanges feeling annoyed and disquieted. But alas, I had to look in the mirror—at all the times, in my own humanity, I have nagged and forcefully tried to impose my opinion and my will on someone else. I want to curb that behavior. And if I were you, I would too!