Once upon a time there was a crown princess living in a beautiful castle surrounded by a moat. Although her every wish, whim and want were provided for, the princess felt lonely and unfulfilled. She had heard somewhere that kissing a frog could turn him into a prince. Ah, this would be just the thing to cure her loneliness and make her truly happy! thought the princess.
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| Photo courtesy of Morguefile |
So the princess spent her long solitary days perched beside the moat, catching frogs and kissing them. One day, in a lip-lock with a particularly warty frog, a young man suddenly appeared at the princess’s side. In her embarrassment she dropped the frog (He was ugly anyway). And the rest is history…Actually NOT! Ten years later the princess is no longer lonely, but she still has no happiness. She and her prince fight all the time. She’s gained weight from eating too many frogs legs. She’s not liking who she has become. The princess wonders how she came to be so unhappy. Surely things were better when she was alone in the castle.
The princess had been sold a bill of goods, one that many of us buy into: that someone, some thing or some circumstance will make us happy. When we get this thing…or go on that trip…or have that relationship, job, or if only the other person would change…all the “If onlys.” We make people, places and things responsible for filling that void belonging uniquely to us to fill. We get angry, frustrated and resentful when our expectations for joy remain unmet. We are being controlled by the uncontrollable.
This recently dawned on me when I realized that a festering resentment I was harboring and that was stealing my joy, was not resulting from the person whose actions I could not control, but from the attitude in me that I could control. Perspective–try it–it actually changes things!
What robs your joy? Are you holding someone or some thing responsible for your joy?
Empowerment coaching can help you find and align with your joy. Call: 514.996.2414 for a complimentary discovery session.