seeing is believing

By Kelly L. Howarth December 20, 2010

Society sends us powerful messages, one of which is that you must be in a romantic relationship with someone. Messaging about being in a couple appears everywhere in the media and in how we think about ourselves. In celebration of Valentine’s Day, let’s look at being in a relationship with someone in a different light.…

To Work, Relationships Take Work

Sometimes we feel so frustrated with someone that we stop talking to them. You or they shut down. You ignore them, and they ignore you. The saying, “Ignoring someone is the best torment,” comes to mind. But we also torment ourselves when we ignore another person. Typically, relationships break down due to a lack of…

Get Yourself an Accountability Partner

The reading on my bathroom scale synced with that of my dear friend! We checked in with each other: I texted her my new weight, then texted that I’d completed twenty-five minutes of vigorous dance. I even texted a picture of my egg white/protein shake pancakes with bananas! And so it goes—we are accountability partners…

Practice Loving Detachment

Have you ever felt powerless to alleviate the emotional pain and suffering of a loved one? What could you do? You can lovingly detach. Although you care deeply for someone, you avoid becoming emotionally entangled as you detach yourself from their problems to help them. You understand that their journey is theirs, and you can…

Listen to Life’s Infinite Wisdom

Often, when noticing what does not work for me in relationships, systems, events, and timings, I’ve neglected to listen to and trust the messages and my feelings for many reasons related to self-doubt, people-pleasing, and more. I typically do this: second-guess my feelings, motivations, and the actions I must take to remedy my circumstances. This…

Healthy Interdependence

I love cats. And I love their independence. We look them straight in the eye when calling their name and they simply sit there, staring at us: You calling me? Eventually, they come–for a caress, food, or just because (finally, they feel like it). Then they leave as silently and stealthily as they came. We…